Why Haven’t They Made Major League IV?

I can hear his voice ringing in my ears -- the voice of famed Cleveland Indians announcer Harry Doyle as the Tribe score the winning run in a one-game playoff against those wretched New York Yankees and secure a spot in the American League Championship Series: "The Indians win it! The Indians win it! Oh my god, the Indians win it!"

Of course, that win was all celluloid fun -- the final frames of the film Major League – which portrayed a fictional Indians ball club taking on a made-for-the-movies Yankee line-up.

This year’s version of the Indians (eight games out of first and 16 from a Wild Card berth) is nothing like last year’s, when the Tribe whipped the true-to-life, larger-than-life New York Yankees in the play-offs, a series everyone thought the Tribe would lose. That team brought back memories of sitting in my local multiplex (six screens back then, and no stadium seating – eek!) and cheering on the likes of Jake Taylor, Rick Vaughn and Willie “Mays” Hayes.

And it’s seasons like these that make me dig through the DVD collection to watch the movie version win it all – all over again. Of course I follow that up with the passable Major League II and the dismal Major League: Back to the Minors. Dismal in part because the series shifts away from Cleveland to the Minnesota Twins – and we can’t have that, right?

So why haven’t they extended the franchise and made Major League 4?

It could be that Major League: BTTM made $3 million, compared to Major League II’s $30 million and Major League’s $50 million. Plus, the story line was a little stale – and the shift from the Indians to the Twins may have alienated some fans. (Why the shift? Possibly because the Indians made it to the World Series in 1995, a year after Major League II debuted, thus negating their underdog status.)

Still, there’s no reason to go back to this well. And there’s actually one really good reason to do so.

Charlie Sheen.

Sheen played the lovable rebel Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn in both Major Leagues I and II and could be considered the heart and soul of the franchise. I could even wax philosophic with regard to Rick being the “hero” in Campbell’s “hero’s journey,” with Tom Berenger’s Jake Taylor his wise mentor. But that’s neither hither nor thither.

By the time Major League: BTTM debuted in 1998, Sheen was hitting bottom, having accidentally overdosed and landing on famed madam Heidi Fleiss’ client list.

He quickly turned it around, eventually playing a caricature of himself on the ABC sit-com Spin City, replacing Michael J. Fox. Sheen won rave reviews for his TV series debut, and when Spin City folded in 2002 (Sheen played Charlie Crawford and garnered a Golden Globe for his efforts), a new series was written with him in mind: CBS’s hit show Two and a Half Men.

His popularity renewed and his comedy chops bona fide, this is the perfect time for Charlie to return to one the film franchise that helped him make his mark.

My pitch, pun intended:

Major League IV

Retired flame thrower Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn is tapped to coach the United States team in the 2009 World Baseball Classic. He quickly discovers that he’s more of a figurehead than a real coach, as his all-star, high-priced, celebrity seeking line-up does only what they want, when they want, and care only about not getting hurt and shoring up their off-season deals.

Repulsed by this turn of events, and cajoled during a one-night bender with former teammate Jake Taylor, Vaughn sends his lineup packing. Faced with one-week to put together another team – and threatened with legal action and a life-time ban by the Commissioner of Baseball – Vaughn convinces Taylor to help him recruit whoever they can, wherever they can.

The reformed team includes members of Indians teams past (Willie “Mays” Hayes, Pedro Cerrano) and new recruits from the far reaches of the country. Ragtag as they come, they’ll have to get behind Vaughn and Taylor, overcome their wacky differences, if they hope to beat the World at America’s pastime.